Is it different for men? There are both similarities and differences. Some of the responses to violence from a partner are the same. Being abused by somebody you love and trust can be confusing and bewildering, and any victim whether male or female may wonder if it's their fault. The emotions they feel are going to be similar whether they are male or female, but it can be harder for men to cope with the emotional impact of domestic abuse.
Admitting to being abused is difficult for anybody, but men often don't have the social networks in place to easily tell a friend or family member. When guys go down the pub it is not necessarily for a chat. Phone lines, like the Men's Advice Line, (MALE) will give them the opportunity to talk in confidence.
For both male and female victims of abuse, the message is the same:
- you are not alone
- it is not your fault
- help is available.
What can I do if I am in a violent relationship?
- Recognise that it is happening to you.
- Accept that you are not to blame.
- If possible, try and extricate yourself from the situation and leave as your personal safety is of paramount importance.
- Do not retaliate physically or verbally
- Keep a diary of incidents, noting down times, dates and witnesses, if any.
- Keep a photographic record of injuries.
- Report each incident to your GP or hospital.
- Take advice regarding injunctions from a reliable solicitor.
- Seek help from a local council housing officer, especially if children are involved.
- Ensure that you have your evidence.
What help is available?
Men have exactly the same rights as women to be safe in their own homes. All statutory services (the police, Crown Prosecution Service, housing departments and social services) have a duty to provide services to all, whatever their gender. Men are protected by exactly the same laws as women - anyone who has assaulted another person, regardless of the gender of either, can be prosecuted.
If you are a man experiencing domestic violence and you need emergency help you can call the police on 999. If you don't find the right help immediately, it's important that you keep looking until you find someone who can support you at this difficult time. It doesn't make you weak to ask for help.
THE NATIONAL CENTRE FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
The National Centre for Domestic Violence provides a free service to everybody, regardless of age, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation or imigration status.
Tel: 0844 8044 999
Safeline (for men, women and adolescents who have experienced sexual abuse)
main helpline: 0808 800 5008
male helpline: 0808 800 5005
young people’s helpline: 0808 800 5007
Survivors UK: (for adult male survivors of rape or sexual assault)
Web chat / Send a text to 020 3322 1860
Men’s Advice Line (for men experiencing domestic violence and abuse)
0808 801 0327 | mensadviceline.org.uk
The ManKind Initiative operates a confidential helpline for men who experience violence from their partners or ex-partners.
Tel: 01823 334244
Victim Support is the independent charity which helps people cope with the effects of crime. We provide free and confidential support and information to help you deal with your experience.
Tel: 0845 450 3883
Karma Nirvana supports male and female victims of honour crimes and forced marriages Its staff and most of its 18 volunteers are survivors of forced marriage and 'honour'-based violence.
Tel: 0800 5999 247
This website provides advice, information and essential contacts to help people out of a forced marriage.
PROTECTION AGAINST STALKING AND HARASSMENT
Provides information, support and advice to victims of stalking and harassment.
Tel: 0300 636 0300