Friend of a victim?

• If we have more than 3 female friends then 75% of us will know someone who at some time will be a victim.

Knowing someone who is a victim of domestic abuse can be very difficult and frustrating.

As a friend you can look at the situation and see the abuse – it can worry, upset or even scare you. Your friend may even have talked to you about the abuse and you might have encouraged them to improve the situation, but you find she doesn’t want to or can’t change.

What can you do?

Don’t walk away

Sometimes when we see something painful it's easy to walk away to protect ourselves. If you can, stay around to support your friend. 

Don’t judge

Allow your friend to be open with you without judging or forcing her to do something she isn’t ready to do.

Support her

Domestic abuse takes away a victim's self-esteem and can cause a lack of self-worth. Make sure you show that she is worth your friendship.

Be practical

Suggest that she may want to pack a survival kit and that she can keep it at your house – tell her if she needs to leave at any time then she can come to you.

Encourage

Try and encourage her to seek help if the situation deteriorates and the violence escalates. There are agencies she can call for advice or solicitors she could go and speak to. She may even need to call the police, support her in these decisions as none of them are easy.

Be aware

Her partner won't like you being involved and will try to stop your friendship. Don’t get involved in this, you may not like him, but telling this to your friend will only push her away from you and towards him and the abuse.

As always make sure you don’t get caught up in any of the violence and ensure you protect yourself.