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Stay or go?

Staying

You may have decided to stay in the relationship for any number of reasons. You should take time to consider how you can best keep yourself and any children as safe as possible.

1. Keep ensuring any injuries you may have are recorded with someone you can trust such as a GP or a close friend.
2. Ensure you have photos of injuries if possible. These may prove useful in the future if things persist.
3. Find someone you can speak to because you may be so affected by the abuse that you cannot make an informed decision as to what you can do.
4. Remember you are not responsible for what someone else does, even if they insist that you are.

Going

It is be to spend time researching your options and have prepared plan to leave.

1. You should ensure you have gone through the survival kit and taken as much as you need.
2. Ensure somebody knows you are leaving and are safe and well.
3. If you haven’t already contact a helpline about finding a refuge. They can advise you on what to do next and help keep you safe.

If you feel that you need to flee in an emergency contact the helpline who can assist getting you to someone safe where you can stay. 

Questions to help you discover if you are experiencing domestic abuse.

  1. Are you afraid of your partner?
  2. Do you feel isolated, bullied or belittled?
  3. Does your partner cut you off from friends or family?

  4. Does your partner verbally abuse you?
  5. Does your partner physically hurt you?
  6. Do you feel as if you are walking on egg shells?

  7. Do you change your behaviour to avoid triggering an incident?
  8. Does your partner threaten you or your children?
  9. Does your partner control the money?

  10. Does your partner force you to have sex or make unreasonable demands?
  11. Does your partner accuse you of being unfaithful?
  12. Does your partner say you are useless and couldn’t cope without them?

  13. Does your partner have sudden changes of mood which dominate the house?
  14. Is your partner charming one minute and abusive the next?
  15. Are you afraid of making your own decisions?

If you have answered yes to one or more of these questions you may be experiencing Domestic Abuse.

Please talk to someone you trust about it, a friend, your health visitor, your GP or call the Oxfordshire Domestic Abuse Helpline, 0800 731 0055. You do not have to give your name but get advice.

It is important for you to know that:

  • People will believe you
  • You are not alone
  • It is not your fault
  • You have the right to feel safe and live free of abuse

The Reducing the risk website is hosted by:
Oxfordshire County Council, County Hall, New Road, OX1 1ND
reducingtherisk@oxfordshire.gov.uk