Refuge Services
A refuge is a safe house where women and children who are experiencing domestic violence can stay free from abuse. There are also some refuges across the country that is for men who are fleeing abuse but most are for women. Refuge addresses (and sometimes telephone numbers) are confidential. There are over 500 refuge and support services in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. The Oxfordshire refuge covers three areas of the County, North, South and Centre. The Oxfordshire refuge is unlikely to accept women from their immediate local area as this is usually where they are most at risk and therefore are likely to have to go to another area in the County or to another County. Any refuge accepting a victim would have to be a 'safe' distance away from any areas where their abuser has connections.
Some refuges have space for many women and children, and some are small houses. Some refuges are specifically for women from particular ethnic or cultural backgrounds (for example, Black, Asian or South American women). Many refuges have disabled access and staff and volunteers who can assist women and children who have special needs. There are also a number of refuges for men across the country.
Who can go into a refuge?
Any woman or man who needs to escape from domestic violence or abuse can go into a refuge at any time. It does not matter whether or not you are married to or living with your abuser, or whether or not you have children. Specialist refuges are available for men and women from ethnic background.
Children
If you have children, you can take them with you however there are restrictions on young boys over the age of 16, an in some areas, 14. There are some refuges that have self-contained family units but most refuges will usually give you your own room for yourself to share with your children. Other spaces (the living room, TV room, kitchen, playroom and possibly the bathroom) will be shared with other refuge residents.
It is advisable to inform Children , Young People and Families with what’s happening. If the couple were not married when the child was born– then parental responsibility lies with the mum – i.e. she decides where the children live – who with – school etc. The only right the father has is to go to court to request these. If however the child was born after January 1 2004 then parental responsibility is shared – as is if they were married when the child was born. She will be advised by the refuge to see a solicitor asap.
How do I arrange refuge accommodation?
Anyone can call the Oxfordshire Domestic Abuse Helpline or the National 24-hour Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247, either will find a refuge space for a victim if this is what they want. Many refuge organisations have public contact numbers, and if you want you can contact these yourself (see the Women's Aid National Network A-Z of refuges. You can also contact refuge organisations through the Police, the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 (UK) or 1850 60 90 90 (ROI), social services or the Citizens Advice Bureau.
A victim should be able to go into a refuge on the day that they call. Refuge accommodation can't usually be booked in advance, nor will a victim always be able to find refuge space in the location of their choice. When refuge accommodation has been found for them, a member of staff or a volunteer from the organisation will discuss with them how they can get there. They may arrange to meet the victim at their office or somewhere else which is easy to find. If they do give the victim the address and the location of the refuge, it is important that they keep this information to themselves, and take care not to leave any of this information behind (thus enabling their location, or the address or telephone number of the refuge, to be traced).
Many victims have little or no money. If they cannot take themselves, always ask if there are family members or friends who can take them to a place which is acceptable to the refuge.If no If they have children – you will need to speak to the Children, Young People and Families team at the County Council who may be able to assist in travel fees. Those without children may be able to get assistance from the Adult Assessment team at the County Council may be able to assist.
Are there any rules?
A license agreement will need to be signed which will include the terms under which you can stay in the refuge, how long you can stay and any necessary rules to ensure the safety of yourself and other residents (for example, regarding the use of alcohol or drugs, confidentiality, visitors, etc.). Refuges also have their own codes of conduct regarding the day-to-day running of the house. These usually cover things like bedtimes for children, incoming telephone calls and rotas for using the washing machine.
What can I take with me to the refuge?
As a guide, try to take the following with you to the refuge:
- Identification.
- Birth certificates for you and your children.
- School and medical records, including the telephone numbers of the school and your GP or surgery.
- Money, bankbooks, cheque book and credit and debit cards.Keys for your house, car, and workplace.
- Driving licence (if you have one) and car registration documents, if applicable.
- Prescribed medication, and vitamin supplements.
- Cards or payment books for Child Benefit and any other welfare benefits you are entitled to.
- Passports (including passports for all your children if you have them), visas and work permits.
- Copies of documents relating to your housing tenure, (for example, mortgage details or lease and rental agreements).
- Current unpaid bills.
- Insurance documents.
- Address book.
- Family photographs, your diary, jewellery, small items of sentimental value.
- Clothing and toiletries for you and your children.
- Your children's favourite small toys. .
Not all women will need all of these items, and there may be some items that you would need to take that have not been included in this list, but this is a general guide.
What can't I take with me to a refuge?
Most refuges do not have a large amount of storage space, so you are unlikely to be able to take large items such as furniture with you to the refuge. Also, refuges cannot generally take house pets. Some refuges are equipped to accommodate small animals such as fish, mice and other caged pets. Additionally, some refuge organisations have arrangements with local pet fostering schemes. For more information see our page on pet refuge.
How long can I stay?
You will usually be able to stay as long as you need to - from a couple of days to several months - though some refuges have a maximum length of stay. Many women stay in refuges for a break from the violence, a breathing space with time to think away from danger. Some women decide to return to their partners.
If I leave a refuge, can I go back?
Yes, in most cases. If you choose to leave the refuge but later need safe accommodation again, you and your children will be able to go back, either into the same or another refuge, depending on space and availability at the time you need it. If you were asked to leave a refuge because you broke the terms of the license agreement, it may not be possible for you to return to the same house. You may be referred to refuge accommodation elsewhere, or another safe place will be found for you.
What about my permanent housing situation?
You can return home from the refuge at any point. You may decide to return with an injunction. You may decide you want to be re-housed elsewhere. The choice is yours, and refuge workers will give you information about the various options in order to help you to decide what you want to do. They will also help you to get advice regarding joint property and mortgage agreements. Do not agree to sign any documents relating to the tenancy or ownership of your home until you have taken legal advice. Look at the section on housing for additional information on long-term housing options.
Children
If you have children, you can take them with you however there are restrictions on young boys over the age of 16, an in some areas, 14. There are some refuges that have self-contained family units but most refuges will usually give you your own room for yourself to share with your children. Other spaces (the living room, TV room, kitchen, playroom and possibly the bathroom) will be shared with other refuge residents.
It is advisable to inform Children , Young People and Families with what’s happening. If the couple were not married when the child was born– then parental responsibility lies with the mum – i.e. she decides where the children live – who with – school etc. The only right the father has is to go to court to request these. If however the child was born after January 1 2004 then parental responsibility is shared – as is if they were married when the child was born. She will be advised by the refuge to see a solicitor asap.
You will usually be able to stay as long as you need to - from a couple of days to several months - though some refuges have a maximum length of stay. Many women stay in refuges for a break from the violence, a breathing space with time to think away from danger. Some women decide to return to their partners.W
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The Domestic Violence Advisor servic) was established in January 2008 and has the leading role, on behalf of the Oxfordshire Multi Agency Risk Assessment Conferences (MARAC), to work with victims at high risk and coordinate safety plans around them. The(IDVA) are trained specialists whose goal is the safety of survivors of domestic violence, ultimately to help them and their children move safely towards living violence free lives.The IDVA service works with clients of both sexes who have been identified as high risk and referred from a(MARA).The support is intended to be a short/medium term service in place to reduce the risk of further domestice and the emotional effects caused by it A risk assessment needs to be carried out so an appropriate safety plan. IDVAs can assist with issues arising as a result of domestic abuse, such as support through the court process and advocacy with housing issues.IDVAs are independent from all agencies to ensure the best possible support and advice is offered to each survivor. All clients are treated with respect, dignity and sensitivity. IDVAs respect the diversity of all communities and work to ensure all survivors have access to the services they need.In order to provide the best possible help they may need to share information with other agencies, but this is only on a need to know basis to achieve the best outcome for you.For more information and to book a place on a group please contact the Oxfordshire Domestic Abuse Helpline 0800 731 0055
