Questions to ask
Constructive questions to ask your friend, which may help them clarify their thinking:
- What can I do to help?
- How has his/her behaviour made you feel?
- How is it affecting you?
- How have you been coping with the abuse?
- What can you do to make yourself safer?
- What are you afraid of if you leave?
- What are you afraid of if you stay?
- Do you know when an incident is going to happen? Is there a pattern?
- What’s your worst-case scenario for yourself/your children?
- What are your worst fears for yourself/your children?
- What do you already do to protect yourself/your children?
- Which of the things you do to protect yourself/your children work in practice, and which don’t?
- What personal strengths do you have that help you to deal with this situation?
- What external resources are there to help you cope (support networks of friends and family, access to money, access to alternative accommodation and so on)? How can these be increased?
- Can I help you find out about what other choices might be available?
- Which options would be most realistic for you?
- What do you see yourself as actually being able to do?